Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Brown Babe goes nude...

The weather in these parts has been awesome-sauce of late - 60s & 70s! For the most part, especially in the winter I'm a black and grey kinda girl - so as I'm trying to scare up some pre-Spring appropriate attire I realized, I don't have any brown shoes - none, nada, zip, zero. Something must have gone wrong in the last shoe purge during the move because I could have sworn I owned at least one!

Anywho...with a big shopping trip on the horizon, I'm saving my pennies and have vowed not to make any major purchases until I can get to the outlets!!! So I went on the hunt for inexpensive, comfy (a post 30 must), cute shoe that I can get on the ground.

I saw this pair in Macy's - the Nine West Ambitious pump:
Nine West pumps

Which I completely fell in love with, and will definitely come back for - but it wasn't in the current budget.

Then I got a tip to check out Target. While I've never really been a big fan of their shoes, I figure desperate times call for desperate measures. I went in searching for this shoe - the Mossimo Pearce pump:

But they didnt have it, so I walked out of the store with the Merona Mari pump:

Now, if I wasn't in a bind, I would have left them right in the store, because its so not my style...but they fit the search criteria, and gave me the opportunity to play with the "nude" look I've been eyeing for a while. Let me tell you, its hard to achieve for a brown girl. Here's what I got:

Me likey!

The unexamined life...

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

I would have to agree, and venture to add that the "living" you do in the midst of an unexamined life, is not truly living at all.

I have been unplugged from the Matrix for quite some time. Not in the revolutionary, "emancipate your self from mental slavery" sense, but in the - this is all just too much, I'd rather not, sense. I've stopped writing/journaling, I've stopped praying, I've stopped going to church, I've stopped keeping up with the blogosphere. Anything that could potentially serve as an outlet for self-reflection...I've disconnected from.

And I've done this before. I've been here before. But in a way that I felt, knew, acknowledged that something was wrong and I was unbelievably sad. Now, I'm just unbelievably numb, and feel like I've accepted that this is just the way it is. Which scares me a bit - to be on auto-pilot, "living" my life, but not living it at all.

So, this is step one in trying to shake that fog. My 33rd birthday is in 10 days! I'm planning a spa vacation with two of my favorite people, and I am genuinely excited about the change of scenery (and the spa, of course!)

And I plan to start connecting again - I'm praying for guidance and direction.