Fasting from Distraction

A consistent prayer for me has to help clear my mind and restore my focus. I always feel like my mind is being pulled in a thousand different directions and I'm not able to do any one thing well because I'm doing all things half-azzed.

During the first ten days of the year I started a fast from distraction - TV, music (except for worship & praise music), PEOPLE and social media.

The basis of this fast was a few words that kept being placed in my spirit from different sources, but all with the same message - "as a man thinketh, so is he". Your output is a product of your input so we need to be careful of what you allow into your thoughts, because those things contribute to what will manifest in your life.

Coming off of those first 10 days, I felt a greater awareness of my mind. I began to see and hear a lot of things more clearly because I had turned down all of the outside noise of my life. And it became abundantly clear to me that my social media involvement (read: addiction) was a major source of my distraction.

Clearing away the noise felt good...so much so that I decided that I was going to fast from social media for Lent.

Let me tell you - 40 days is significantly longer than 10 :o) and it indeed proved to be a struggle for me. And I was not quite as adherent to the fast as I should have been. I truly did feel like an addict, finding the littlest of reasons to pop up over on facebook, etc. But for the most part, I did press on and was rewarded at the end with:

• a greater mental clarity
• less distraction, especially during my work day, allowing me to remain focused and be more productive
• the ability to see/hear things that would have otherwise been clouded out by the noise
• decreased inundation of the thoughts/opinions of others, leaving room for my own to form more genuinely
  

But, believe me, it wasn't all roses, butterflies, and puppies. I revealed some things about myself that were hard to see/hear - that were easier to deal with drowned out by the noise. And I noticed that my habit was bordering on addiction...not cool.

Since I've been back though, I've realized how much I've missed all the "friends in my head" that I made, through the blogs especially, and the unique voice they all have in my day. I've been taking my time and going through my backlog, but feeling no great need to clear the >1K message showing on my RSS feed. (As I've been catching up, I see that when you miss a little, you miss a lot!) I also realized that I have a lot of things to say...about me, about life, about the world, and yes, even about hair - so I need to utilize this outlet a little better in getting those words out into the atmosphere. Even if no one else "hears" them.

I would definitely suggest that everyone take some time to fast from the unique distractions of their own lives (cause I know I'm not the only one that's got them!) Take some time to quiet down the noise that bombards your life...see how much it changes your perspective.

Flying High on the Wings of Forgiveness...

I struggle with forgiveness. I tend to hold on to hurt, but I'm working on me, and learning how to just let go...

I am about a year out of a 4 year relationship (I started to write recently, because it still feels pretty fresh). But in my struggle to get over the bad and appreciate the good I stumbled upon this post in one of my favorite inspirational blogs: Peace, Love & Pretty Things. It literally felt like she wrote out the words on my heart. I copied this into my phone and read it every once in a while to remind myself that its OK to let go, that its important to not only forgive the person who hurt you, but to forgive yourself as well. I own my short comings, and I do believe going through has helped me on the road to a better me. So in the end I am genuinely thankful...even for the pain!

"I forgive you for everything that you have done that has caused me pain. I release the notion that you owe or have ever owed me anything, other than to be yourself and to reveal the truth of who you are. I release you from any obligation that I perceived you to have to protect my feelings. I am grateful to you for leaving my life and making room for someone else to come in--someone who is good for me, right now, right where I am.

I forgive myself for any pain that I have ever caused you. I forgive myself for not always showing you the truth of who I am. I forgive myself for any times that I was not as loving as I could have possibly been or that I didn't try as hard as I could have. I forgive myself for trying to keep you in my life when it was time for you to move on, and for not being strong enough to let you leave before our relationship was broken beyond repair. I allow myself to have the peace of knowing that I loved you, had your best interests at heart, and was as honest with you as I could be based on the information that I had about myself. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned that now allow me to know more about myself than I did before. I am thankful for all the growth I experienced through my relationship with you.

I release all hurt, anger, guilt, shame, resentment, regret and sadness tied to you or to what we once had. I now open myself to receive healing, comfort, love, compassion and peace. I am love...and like attracts like. I am thankful for the new things that are in store for my life."

Finding Motivation in the Little Things...

These here plants motivate me!

I inherited them with the office, of course, because I would not willingly put myself in charge of a living thing unable to cry out for attention (sad, but true). And in the less than two years it has been in my care, I have brought it to the brink of death at least once a week.

I neglect these babies something fierce (see above). I forget to water them, fail to prune them, and they are in pots at least two sizes too small. Sorry, but there is absolutely no green in these thumbs!

Yet, even when I walk in the office after a long, dry weekend and think - oh boy, I think its over for these babies...they surprise me by being the most resilient little things ever!

Whenever I realize the error of my ways and scramble to make amends - showering them with water and plant food - they spring back to life...like there was never any neglect or pain and suffering to speak of. They are constantly sprouting new leaves and my lily even blooms for me multiple times during the year. They never fail to stretch, ever hopeful, to the nearest light - their source of life!

It reminds me so much of me - of us a humans in general. Whether we choose to acknowledge its existence or make good use of it, we come equipped with the tools necessary to ensure our survival. So even when life is kicking us squarely in the hind parts, deep down inside we all have what it takes to hold on until circumstances are turned around for our good!

Stay hopeful, keep blooming, and tap into your source!

Thank God for small miracles :o)